Introduction: Couch Prison...and a project.

If I were living in Ancient Greece, I would have believed that the Artemis, the goddess of childbirth, was smiling down on me.  (And for you History Buffs out there, I wouldn't have been wearing a toga.  That would have made me a male Roman citizen or a prostitute...I am neither)  

I got a happy call from our doctor on October 29th.  My husband and I were expecting our first child!  Throughout the first five months, I scoffed at my "What to Expect While Expecting" symptoms list.  It just didn't apply to me.  Morning sickness...nope.  Food aversion...nope. Only once, oddly after eating a bite of Molten Chocolate Lava cake.  What?!  No mood swings...I was happy as a clam.  I promise...ask my husband.  I didn't get a Mask of Pregnancy or  Linea Nigra.  Of course, I was dog tired, but aren't we all?

Then, the Parthenon walls started to crumble.  During an ultrasound, we discovered I had a placenta previa.  I was told to restrict my activity and take it easy.  Since then, I've been sentenced to "Couch Prison" for the rest of my pregnancy.  "You can take a quick shower, use the bathroom, and get food" says my doctor.  Otherwise, I need to be laying down on my side,  preferably the left.   I am thankful that my doctors are so diligent and the baby is fine.  And thankfully I had just returned my adorable pair of J Brand maternity jeans that cost me more than three pairs of my regular jeans.  I feel great, except the constantly horizontal part of my life.  The Pollyanna in me says,  

"It's better to be feeling great and stuck on the couch, than feeling terrible and have to go to work."

Yes, that is true.  It sounds fun...to all you working gals and guys out there.  Sit around, watch television, read a book, surf the internet.  And, it was...at first.  And then, I was dying for a burger from "IN-N-OUT" but I could only stay IN and not go OUT to get it.  I'd watch Food Network all day and have weird dreams that I was competing in Top Chef.  Actually, I did dream about a great idea for a cupcake.  The Elvis (banana batter, peanut butter filling, bacon crumbles on top)   

Even with 500 channels on television, how can the same episode of "How I Met your Mother" be on twice in one day? 

My everyday freedoms are gone.  No going to the dollar section at Target to buy $20 worth of things I don't need.  My eyebrows are begging me for a nice threading.  I just want to get a haircut!  And, as a mom-to-be, I'm heartbroken that won't be able to decorate the nursery 'just right', go to Babies R Us and "ooh and ahh" over all the cute baby clothes, or attend the baby shower extravaganza that my dear friends worked so hard to plan for me.

I decided I needed a project.  Something to help me enjoy these upcoming three months.  Originally, I was going to learn to knit.  I could knit the Royal Wedding Party and sell it on Etsy as a commemorative souvenir!  But, after watching a few knitting tutorials on YouTube and realized that I already feel like an old lady stuck on the couch and knitting might put me over the edge.

How about watching every episode of The Real World?  Nah.  And, I don't think re-watching every episode of Lost would make the finale any more understandable.

This year, for the first time, I watched Annual Academy Awards.  Anne Hathaway was a lucky girl.  She got to wear 8 different dresses in one night!  But, what was up with James Franco...hmmm?  It gave me an idea...with all the extra time that I have, along with the awesome flat screen television, surround sound, and a comfy couch...

Why don't I watch every movie that has received 

Best Picture Oscar?  

I'd like to thank Netflix who has every Oscar Best Picture available.   Even the old ones from the 1920's that no one's ever heard of.  And, since I can't be driving around searching the shelves of the last two video stores that haven't gone out of business, they'll show up right in my mailbox!   For those of you who are nit-picky...I know, I know, technically, it wasn't called "Best Picture" until 1931.  Before that it was "Most Outstanding Production." ...which brings to mind Bill and Ted saying they had a "most excellent" adventure.  Definitely not an Oscar contender, but still a totally awesome film.  Probably those of you who know that much about Oscar movies to notice that would never be caught dead watching any movie with Keanu Reeves.  But, then you'd know that he played Le Chevalier Raphael Danceny in Dangerous Liasons that was nominated for Best Picture in 1988.  Party on, dudes. 


Tomorrow...background on the Academy Awards Best Picture and Going My Way, 1944


Popcorn, anyone? If you could bring me some, that would be great, since I can't get up.